Saint Joseph: the drama of repudiation
The decision of Joseph to leave Mary secretly was not a singular act, a sudden reaction to a stimulus, or a response to a request. It was not an instinctive and automatic reaction that comes before one has fully understood a problem. Nor was it an explosion of wounded pride or insulted self-esteem, or any of the many emotions such situations typically evoke in men. The more important an issue is, the more it demands attention, even if not everyone is aware or capable of it. In that particular case, where the issue was important, very important, not only for Joseph but also for Mary, Joseph demonstrated his maturity by giving her the necessary attention and not treating her lightly.
It was not merely a matter of honor. Mary’s honor was secured by the resolve she had taken. And to save her honor, he didn’t mind even if it meant being mistreated. What truly hurt was the second aspect. Joseph loved Mary, and that was the gravity of the conflict: when head and heart are going in different directions, the rift becomes inevitable. A man’s heart in love tends, with almost irresistible force, towards the woman he loves. But if his head tells him he needs to contradict that impulse, the result can only be one: suffering.
In Joseph’s case, the conflict intensified. The decision itself was very difficult. Moreover, as time went on, instead of alleviating its severity, it made an urgent resolution even more necessary. According to all appearances, Mary was guilty. However, despite all appearances, he wasn’t convinced that could be true and, in fact, he remained certain it wasn’t.
The contrast between what he saw and what he knew about his wife increased his perplexity and indecision. To this was added Mary’s silence. Why didn’t she speak? Why didn’t she offer any explanation? Did he deserve some words, some clarification? She certainly didn’t behave like a guilty woman. She didn’t show the shame one might expect in a woman who had committed such an obvious fault. Her eyes didn’t darken, and her gaze was as pure, clear, and serene as ever, even when, by chance, she looked at him with a touch of compassion. Her face was not wrinkled, and indeed, it sometimes seemed radiant.
And her behavior: not that of one who finds herself in the awkward need to explain what is evident, what leaves no room for another explanation. She looked at him, and she suffered with his suffering, and she remained silent. Where did she draw the strength, the intimate support that, in such a tense situation, allowed her to continue her tasks without being shaken, unchanged, the same as always?It is impossible to know how long this period of agonizing perplexity, of conflicting feelings, lasted. But, with these premises, considering the state of Mary, her inexplicable silence and her serene attitude, it is more than understandable that Joseph struggled for some time, unsure of what to do. But then, “after pondering these things” (Mt 1:20), while Joseph was meditating on the solution he had proposed, examining it from different perspectives, weighing whether it was indeed the right solution, a revelation came to him: precisely when, after bitter reflections with no one to confide in, no glimpse of a clear outcome, he finally found some relief. The solution came while he was resting, different from what he had anticipated, and with it came peace and joy. For “behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit” (Mt 1:20).It seems that Joseph was afraid to take his wife with him. They were married, but the consummation of the marriage had not yet taken place, nor, therefore, the official companionship of Mary in her husband’s home. This second part of the marriage would undoubtedly have been affected by this new factor, unpredictable and even unimaginable. Joseph likely feared this transition precisely because of the new element, which was unknown and even unthinkable. Certainly, it was not fear of dishonor. That, at the worst, could have been avoided or quelled by the marriage. It was perhaps fear of offending God, of profaning a mystery that is unknown but sensed?We will never know. In fact, whatever the origin of his fear of receiving Mary into his own home and celebrating the wedding, it vanished the instant the angel revealed to him the great mystery prepared by God for humanity. The enlightenment about God’s designs introduced him, so to speak, into the work of Redemption, a Redemption that, in the words of Edith Stein, “was conceived and accomplished in the depths of mysterious silence”. In silence and secret, the Anunciation of the mystery to the Virgin Mary and the Incarnation of the Son of God took place.In silence and secret, Joseph purified himself during the agonizing days of trial. And always in silence and secret, what he needed to know was communicated to Joseph, son of David, for he could not fulfill the mission that God had decided for him without knowing, at least, the fundamental aspect of his part. The angel calmed his doubts, revealed to him the mystery of the Incarnation, and he knew what service he was to perform. And immediately, in the same instant that he knew it, he responded with promptness and unconditional dedication, equal to those with which, months before, his wife Mary had agreed to the divine plan proposed by the angel.And indeed, upon waking from sleep, the narrative of Saint Matthew continues, “he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife with him” (Mt 1:24). Waking up as if from a nightmare, from a situation so strange that it seems unreal, anomalous like one of those absurd and monstrous delusions sometimes induced by fever. Or perhaps, to emerge from doubt and indecision because of the angelic revelation, and to make the resolution to receive his wife, was equivalent to emerging from a dark and troubled world to suddenly find oneself in the unequivocal brightness of a sure path to follow.And perhaps the circumstance of having received the revelation of the mystery while meditating on these things is not without meaning. God could certainly have spared him these sufferings, for example, by leaving him to know the plan at the same time as Mary. In that case, she too would have avoided the anguish of witnessing Joseph’s suffering in the obligation to keep such a secret, which could have been communicated in a way to resolve all the problems immediately. But God does not adhere to the vision of men. He left the Virgin to suffer, He allowed Joseph to struggle for some time in anguished perplexity, without understanding anything and without seeing a solution, without the certainty of what to do in a situation so unexpected as delicate and painful. Only when he had found a just solution (within the limits of his imperfect knowledge of reality), did God intervene through the angel.The true solution came to him as soon as Joseph did what was within his power in those circumstances, without neglecting anything that was within his power. Only then, and not before, did God transmit to him the unknown data, necessary to correct an erroneous decision. And with the data, a reference.Why, as Saint John Chrysostom says, “*the angel sends Joseph back to the testimony of Isaiah, so that, should he forget what he heard in the dream, remembering the words of the prophet, from whom he has always fed, he may recall to his memory the revelation he received*” (emphasis added).Not in the same way, because the tribulations Joseph had to face cannot be generalized to all humanity, but certainly, in different forms, everyone experiences afflictions that bear some resemblance to those suffered by Joseph. We speak of conflicts, problems, setbacks, moments of difficulty in every man’s life that do not concern only him, situations in which one is forced to make decisions that can irreversibly alter the course of his own life and that of others. There, one lives a peculiar suffering, hardly understood by those who have not experienced it, which requires an attitude from which, in many cases, the justice of the solution adopted depends. When heart and head are at odds, and the man feels an inner laceration, when it is the heart that pulls with great force, especially then one must avoid acting in haste. More than ever, one must stop and reflect, so that emotion does not take over. If the heart is indeed made for love, the head is made for thinking and showing the heart the way to go.Joseph teaches us that in the face of a problem, conflict, or opposition (experiences that life does not spare anyone), the appropriate and primary response from a man is reflection. Following impulsive movements of the heart, instinctive and precipitous reactions, never do we reach correct solutions. If anything, we only entangle the problem further, adding new difficulties and exacerbating the discord. Nor should we expect the problem to resolve itself, or for others to solve it, because there are moments and situations in which no one can decide for us. We must be mature enough to face them and the consequences. Some men remain eternally immature, entangled in an immaturity from which they seem unwilling to escape. These are people whose uniform, in the face of difficulties, is perpetually to rely on others, not to receive advice (a prudent rule for achieving success), but to unload the weight onto others’ shoulders.However, it is good that one only turns to others, to the next person, after having evaluated whether one is capable of getting out of the way by oneself, of reaching an adequate solution. When, in fact, the nature of the issue does not require particular confidentiality, it is never excessive to seek the opinion and counsel of those who, through knowledge or experience, can provide the necessary explanations for the best solution. Finally, even Joseph did not resolve his conflict alone, but with the help of the angel and following his counsel.The solution that came to Joseph, the superior illumination, in the same context of solitude in which he found himself struggling, reached him in a very simple, discreet, silent way, without uncomfortable external and sensory contours. It came to him from outside himself, showing him that the choice he had made, though logical, was not correct, and Joseph immediately rectified his decision, changing his mind and acting according to the facts the angel had revealed to him. However, let us not forget this aspect: Saint Joseph never refused to reflect on the facts, and thus obtained from the Lord that degree of understanding of God’s works that constitutes true wisdom.To deepen the relationship between Mary and Joseph in the history of salvation, consult Saint John Paul II’s encyclical “*Redemptoris Mater*”.Deepen your studies: explore Mariology, Marian theology, Marian apparitions, and the Master’s program in Mariology.Graduate Studies in Mariology
Do you want to deepen your formation in Mariology? Get to know the Graduate Program in Mariology from Locus Mariologicus, an academic formation that combines theological rigor, spiritual life, and the living tradition of the Church.Dive deeper into Josephology?
Locus Mariologicus is preparing a Josefology course – the scientific study of St. Joseph in Scripture, Tradition, and Magisterium. Sign up for the waiting list and be notified when registrations open.
Responses